My December
by Full Deck
Summary: Sara left Las Vegas.


**Title: My December**

**Author: Gabriel Zed**

**Summery: Sara left Las Vegas.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just torture them a little bit.**

**Notes: This does not take place because of what happened in burden of proof. I'm not really sure when it does. It just came to me while I was trying to sleep at 3 am. I'll never try to that again! I'll end up with another bad idea that I will subject you poor folks to. Sorry. Fair warning, I'm not very good with romances. You have been warned.**

Sara pulled the jacket tighter around her, her face going numb in the blasts of freezing wind attacking her in the parking lot. The cold in Boston wasn't just face numbing, it was mind numbing. Sara wished it wound numb her mind more than the rest of her.

 It was December, three months since she had left Las Vegas. Since she left him. Even now the memory of those blue eyes could make her melt, even in this 10 degree weather.

 Gil Grissom, her supervisor, the mentor, her friend. Her didn't even realize how much he hurt her. How much he tore at her. How angry she was with him.

 He had taken a sledgehammer to the wall around her, waltzed in and stole her heart. She couldn't forgive him for that.

 The idea of Grissom waltzing almost made her laugh. Then she found herself waltzing with him. Touching him, seeing his smile, falling into his eyes as she fell in step with the music in her head. She felt warmer. The void she had felt inside her since she had left, since she had run from, Las Vegas was filling.

 Then It came. The fear. The fear of falling in love. The fear that Grissom had her heart and he was going to drop-kick it into the nearest trash can.

 The Fear made her as breathless as Grissom.

 The waltz, and the warmth faded. Sara was once again freezing. She made it to her car and turned on the heater, full blast. She was still cold.

 Inside she was so cold, places were beginning to numb.

 When Sara made it to her apartment, she was tempted to turn and run. It didn't matter. It was empty in there. She had furniture, of course. She had a couch and a TV and a bed and a kitchen with food. There was even a picture of Catherine, Nick, Warrick, her, and Grissom with his arm around her and that crooked smile she loved so much. Catherine had posed them so Greg could take the picture.

 But there was no Grissom. Not even a facsimile that she had picked up in a bar or on a plane. No family, no roommate. No one.

 She went in anyway.

 Sara always felt like she should knock before entering. This place wasn't home. Her heart wasn't here. It was in Las Vegas.

 She resisted the urge to throw something.

 She had tried to hard to get it back. She had run, thinking it would follow. But Grissom still held her heart in the palm of his hand, and she doubted whether he even realized it.

 God, why had she said those things to him?

 Grissom hid it well, but she knew he was far from cold and unfeeling. So many things he felt deeply. He just did not let it affect him and very rarely did he show it. But she had been angry. Angry and hurt.

 And she had been scared.

 Sara had run so far and so fast. Thinking her feelings would fade with distance. They were stronger.

 She sat on her couch, pulled an afghan around her trying to warm up. She was so cold. She checked the thermostat, before giving up and turning on the TV, 75 degrees. She still felt cold.

 The TV reporter wished everyone Happy Holidays. What was so happy about them?

 Sara looked up at the picture of her friends. It hung above a small tree she hadn't bothered to decorate, with a card below it, from Las Vegas. Each had signed it. Even Gris. She had stared at his signature for so long it was burned permanently in her memory. Just like him.

 Looking at Grissom, she felt a little better. Nothing like what the real person could do. She knew then, her warmth was in Las Vegas.

 Sara's warmth was where ever Gil Grissom was.

 She toyed with the idea of going back. No, it was safer here.

_This is my December This is my time of the year_

_This is my December This is all so clear_

_This is my December This is my snow covered home_

_This is my December This is me alone_

_And I just wish that I didn't feel_

_Like there was something I missed_

_And I take back all the things I said_

_To make you feel like that_

_And I just wish that I didn't feel_

_Like there was something I missed_

_And I take back all the things I said to you_

_And I give it all away just to have somewhere to go to_

_Give it all away to have someone to come home to_

_This is my December These are my snow covered trees_

_This is me pretending This is all I need_

_And I Just wish that I didn't feel_

_Like there was something I missed_

_And I take back all the things I said_

_To make you feel like that_

_And I just wish that I didn't feel_

_Like there was something I missed_

_And I take back all the things I said to you_

_And I give it all away Just to have somewhere to go to_

_Give it all away To have someone to come home to_

_This is my December This is my time of the year_

_This is my December This is all so clear_

_And I give it all away Just to have somewhere to go to_

_Give it all away To have someone to come home to_

_And I give it all away Just to have somewhere to go to_

_Give it all away To have someone to come home to_

**I hope ya'll enjoyed it, at least those who didn't run in terror.**

**The song for the uninitiated is "My December" by Linkin Park. What else would I be listening to at 3 in the morning?**__


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